The nights are dark and long these days

I try to sleep through but something nudges me, wakens me

Then the voices of discouragement

Voices of fear, inadequacy

And my sleep is over but it is still long dark


There is a sweet strong Presence there as well

Making these days and nights a treasure

An assurance that no matter how much it hurts

That You are at work in the night hours

As much as you are in these days

When I can see and when I can’t


You are showing me my limits

so that I can understand that You are limitless

You are showing me my inadequacy

so that I can surrender and You can build your Church

So that I don’t build some cheap, impotent imitation


You may allow me to fail . . . if that’s what it takes

For me to learn these sacred lessons

You may humiliate me if my pride requires

At some deep level, I am okay with that

Because I trust You

Because I know that all things work together

For Your Glory and for my good.


Thanks . . .


* I wrote this around 2010, contemplating an end to my pastoral years with the Wesleyan Church.